Do you wake up excited for the day, grateful to be alive? Or, are you hating on life as soon as you're conscious?
Is your overall head space filled with optimism and peace, or are the majority of your thoughts negative and self-deprecating?
What is your purpose for being here?
For the longest time, I hated waking up every morning to my life. Every morning started with dread and longing to go back to dreamland, back to the realm where reality felt whimsical and full of love and adventure. Instead, I woke up in a realm where reality felt difficult and full of exhaustion and defeat. What was the point of living if I hated it? What was the point of my life if I didn't like anything about it (except for the people I loved)?
It took me a very long time to realize I'm the one in control of my life, my feelings, and my thoughts, so it's up to me to change if I want life to change. I started with bigger changes, like quitting my job to take a chance on myself (took me multiple corporate jobs to realize I'm meant to forge my own path) and moving into my own place after years of living with roommates.
I was on my own for a year, but that year was the catalyst needed to change my entire mindset on life. Because after those major life changes, I was still stuck with ruminating thoughts of doubt, insecurity, fear, and unworthiness. I was still looking in the mirror, questioning what was wrong with me and believing I was meant to suffer forever.
But therein lies the problem: my beliefs. What you believe is what you get, so of course my life wasn't great. I was walking around believing I was less than, believing I deserved shitty things to happen to me, believing I had no power to do anything. In regards to life in general, I believed it wasn't worth it and people were selfish pricks who used and abused Earth as if she has no soul (I still somewhat think that, though not the entire population). My beliefs were being projected right out in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it.
Or, was there?
As controversial as it may be, the pandemic was a blessing in disguise for me. Those periods of solitude gave me the opportunity to reflect and change my life in an instant. I went down and dirty into the depths of my thought process, realizing majority of the thoughts I had were wrapped in some sort of negativity: imagining non-existent fights, hating on myself, thinking people thought lowly of me, chalking up good things happening as a fluke and bad things happening as standard, did I mention hating on myself? My mind was a dark pit I desperately wanted out of.
Once I was aware of how dark my mind was, I challenged myself to bring the light back in. I challenged myself to counter every negative thought with positivity. Doubting myself... what if everything worked out? Getting rejected... what if there's something better out there for me? Failing to stick to my goals... what if I tried again?
I'll say, it's not easy heading towards the light when you're so used to the dark. Feels artificial at first. But the light is where destiny lies. The light is where the minute and big changes occur for the better. The light showed me I'm here to be the light, for myself and others.
I found my purpose in the light.
My purpose is to help those like myself who've felt the darkness consume them to the point of (perceived) no return. My purpose is to show those like myself who've given up on their dreams realize those dreams are felt for a reason. Giving up isn't an option. We have been given free will for a reason, why not take advantage and make life how we want it to be? Every single one of us is here purposefully, to create a life unique to us.
I went from wanting to be a singer, to getting a degree in Psychology and wanting to be a therapist, to working as a corporate recruiter, to going viral on TikTok for women's health, to starting my own herbal business, to failing (perceived) and pivoting to wholistic health and Traditional Western Medicine, to becoming a certified Medical Astrologer. My life path has been winding all over the place, but my purpose has remained the same: to be of service and help change people's lives for the better. To be the light!
If the light's been missing from your life for a while, or if you've never felt it, know it exists. Know you're meant to feel it, embody it, and have it change your life positively. Life is full of hardships, but that doesn't mean it has to feel like your own personal hell. Heaven on Earth exists and it starts in your mind.
What can you do right now to allow some of the light back in? What area of life has felt so dark, the thought of any light touching it sounds impossible? If it's your physical environment, Astrocartography is a thing. If you aren't happy where you're living, astrology can help you find the place where you'll shine. If it's your physical or mental health, Medical Astrology is a thing. If your health is suffering, astrology can help you find balance and strength in ways that're unique to you. If it's your financial circumstances, I'm positive astrology can help with that, too. Clearly I'm a nerd for astrology, but I wouldn't be pushing it if it were "nonsense".
Woo woo or not, you never know what'll work unless you try. Be willing to try. Be willing to broaden your horizons to help dissipate the dark clouds hanging over your head like they were me.
Be willing to let the light back in.
Tune I feel jives well with this episode:
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